![]() ![]() So … how do we spot this? How can we tune into our intuition and know when someone, especially a narcissist is lying to us? What are the hallmarks of a narcissistic pathological liar? Naturally, if we are still hooked in and needy and dependant on this person for our own love, approval, survival or security – we may make excuses and stay with them, suffering the terrible abuse of being with someone who is a pathological liar – a person who we can never be safe with. What choice do you have if you want to retain your life, sanity and soul? This is when you need to realise this is ‘game over’ – pull away, stay away and start separating. You will be lined up and the narcissist will go for your weakest points and all evidence and influence to make you out to be the liar, wrong or sick one. To expose a narcissist as a liar means that you will be set upon. That to them is just a necessary casualty of not disturbing the false narrative of the False Self, the only identity that they can cling to – one that their entire inner identity structure relies on. Their False Self will not allow them to.Īs a result, the narcissist leaves in their wake a trail of broken relationships, ones where trust, faith and belief in them are destroyed. They have the ability to be genuinely remorseful and seek forgiveness. This is the thing – emotionally intelligent people may lie, slip up and hurt people as a result of their behaviour – yet when they are discovered and confronted, confess and tell the truth. They are blind to their narcissism and will often continue with lie after lie, even if caught out. This is why narcissists will blame you, refuse to stay on topic and spin things around – including all the incredible defence mechanisms that narcissists will employ to retain their fabricated versions. When other people bring forth a reality that threatens the fragile basis of the False Self, which needs to uphold significance and ‘be right’ at all costs, the narcissist will go into delusional denial and stick to their narrative. This fabricated version of themselves requires a delusional reality of life itself, necessarily spinning the onus and responsibility back on others, rather than employing the essential self-reflection, growth and learning that may be able to lead them out of pathological narcissism. Narcissists believe they are above reproach and immune to other people’s criticism or scrutiny of them. This is all connected with the lack of empathy that narcissists are so famously known for – the inability to step into someone’s else’s shoes and view life from their perspective.Īs a False Self, narcissists lie profoundly to themselves also – they have a narrative going on in their fabricated inner world as to what they believe they want as reality. Not being honest also means not being responsible for actions or accountable, as well as severely lacking the ability to understand how one’s pathological actions, including lies, affect others. The truth is pathological lying is about ‘not being real’. The narcissist is trying to be someone else, a fictitious character who gleans feelings of significance from others because their self-esteem is so devoid on the inside. Meaning an insecure ego construction that has forfeited living as an authentic self, because of believing this self is not enough – not enough to have needs met or be fulfilled as itself. They don’t stick to the truth and there is one main reason for this – they are a False Self. One thing you can be certain of with a narcissist is that they lie. In this Thriver TV episode, it is my greatest wish that I have provided you with some powerful pointers that can help you unravel the rubbish and get to the truth regarding whether this person is someone with high-integrity or not. So … how do we make sure that we don’t go through (or continue to experience) someone’s pathological lying, putting our heart, life and sanity at risk? Sadly, for most of us, we gave the narcissist the benefit of the doubt, we wanted to believe them. There is a very pertinent saying – that when we become a detective in our relationship that things are very wrong. The truth is this: we can’t have a safe and healthy relationship with a pathological liar because trust, faith and belief are smashed. Or have you received point blank evidence that this person is a liar? Have you experienced events and circumstances that leave you feeling dubious as to whether or not you can trust them? ![]() ![]() Have you ever been in a situation with someone where you have no idea whether you are being told the truth or not? ![]()
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